Pete
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Posts: 5
I Am A(n): Aspiring Voice Actor, Artist
Pronouns: he/him
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Post by Pete on Jun 15, 2017 9:18:26 GMT -8
Found a random monologue to experiment with and would like some general feedback, or suggestions(including that of how my audio sounds). Like I said in the title this is the first time I have been behind a mic since at least 2010 so please be gentle.
For context, this is from One by Terrence Mosley Age Range: 20 - 40
A son tells his neglectful father about how he learned to shave.
(Edit: Nevermind. I am not satisfied with this performance at this point.)
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Brian Corbin
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Posts: 22
I Am A(n): Aspiring Voice Actor, Semi-Professional Voice Actor
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Post by Brian Corbin on Jun 17, 2017 21:21:28 GMT -8
Overall, I like this quite a bit! My one critique would be to vary the speed of delivery a bit. The entire thing is very... staccato. Was that intentional? Try mixing it up a little with longer, flowing parts, broken up with the more quick, pointed deliveries.
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Pete
Member
Posts: 5
I Am A(n): Aspiring Voice Actor, Artist
Pronouns: he/him
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Post by Pete on Jun 18, 2017 15:10:50 GMT -8
Yeah. I was reading it as if I was reminiscing with my dying father. I didn't get to speak to him after 25 years of estrangement. I don't have any context for the piece so I just kinda filled in the gaps. I was aiming for a sad, but somewhat angry kind of tone.
I didn't sound like I was reading, or anything did I? How does the audio setup sound?
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Post by Tomar on Jun 21, 2017 16:34:53 GMT -8
I agree with Brian that the staccato rhythm and overuse of long pauses did hurt the performance and make it feels very unnatural. Not necessarily like it was being read off a paper, but it most definitely pulled away from the believably and therefore the humanity of the piece.
What seems to be missing most here is the transition from a casual discussion of something mundane like learning to shave (obviously chosen because it's bit of a cultural right of passage for teenage boys when your father teaches you to shave) to then reveal an important subtext, the character's resentment toward his father. In your case, it felt like the heat was already turned up from the start, and that just really didn't work for the scene since you didn't leave yourself anywhere to go.
When it comes to expressing emotions in a more serious context, often expressing them subtly, as though you're putting more effort into suppressing the emotion than into overtly expressing it, tends to yield good, believable results as this is how most of us handle handle anger and grief. In most modern societies, we are taught not to show these "negative" emotions readily to other people, especially outside our closest friends and relatives. The fact that your character feels so distant from his father provides a great opportunity to utilize this, and walking the path from "talking casually to an old acquaintance" to "acting how you would act around a family member or close friend" can provide some insight into how the character REALLY feels. Does he wish he was closer to his father? Is his father dead to him and he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the power he still has over him? Does he secretly want his father to react to his pain and reach out and embrace him? Does he want his father to feel regret in isolation? The amount of your real emotion you are willing to display in front of this other character, your father... or the lengths at which you are going to suppress those emotions to prevent from being hurt again are going to inform your acting choices in the moment and breath real life into a scene like this.
I'm no acting coach but I've been acting for a good while, and these are the kinds of questions I would be asking before performing a monologue like this.
As far as your sound quality goes, the recording seems fine.
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Pete
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Posts: 5
I Am A(n): Aspiring Voice Actor, Artist
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Post by Pete on Jun 26, 2017 7:09:45 GMT -8
I am really unsatisfied with this one now. I am much happier with the 2 voice sketch I also posted here, but no one seems to have noticed that post.
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