Looking for feedback on this clip of a recent recording

Hey Jack!

I've been listening to your audio narration sample a couple of times to give you the best feedback possible!

First of all, your performance is very well done! "Swift" has swiftness to it, you're making sure to take some breaths and put some pauses where necessary. All these little nuances really sell the story, so wonderful job. Please keep up your work!

Where you need to improve is in mic technique and noise.
On the recording, a couple of your plosives have breath rushing into the mic. Completely understandable and it happens to me too, but we want to avoid it whenever possible. Speaking without the plosives may take a while. If you want a quick fix, just talk a little above the mic or a little off to the side of the mic so any plosives rush to the side, not directly into it.
Also, the volume, compression, normalization, are not quite there. Listen to an audiobook on audible and you will hear how these small audio engineering changes make a noticable difference.
Finally, we can hear your breathing. It might be best to either edit it out or get used to breathing less audibly into the microphone.

Please continue your work because these fixes are mostly cosmetic! Your narration performance is quite good and worth investing in.